


Calm

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Derek Hale Takes Care of Stiles Stilinski, Derek is a Good Boyfriend, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, stiles is something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 05:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12125553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Sometimes, when his anxiety is high, Stiles runs out into the preserve and screams until he can't scream anymoreSometimes Derek finds himSometimes they talk





	Calm

**Author's Note:**

> Ficlet I did instead of working on Sterek Week stuff because I needed the stress releif, now that FBI!Stiles is an actual canon thing am I going to have to start labeling ALL of my fics as "Canon divergent"..? (Probably)

"Seriously Scott? SERIOUSLY? Why don't you just rip my heart out, soak it in acid, and stomp on what's left?"

_"I know... I'm sorry, but with my big test the day before... I just can't come down for Halloween, I'll be too tired, we'll do something that weekend ok?"_

Yeah, Stiles believed that as much as he believed that he would walk downstairs and find Bigfoot in his kitchen eating nachos

Possible, sure, but improbable

Not because Scott INTENTIONALLY lies but just because he has a history of casually forgetting commitments involving Stiles- or asking for a rain check that never happens...

Halloween was their traditional ... tradition night!

Stiles knew that Scott wouldn't be around for everything anymore now that he was in college but .. he had still hoped he'd be around for most of the big stuff....

_"I really am sorry, I'll pay for pizza next time I come home, ok?"_

Stiles licked his lips, nodding and trying to look significantly less disappointed than he felt

This was one of those times when he really hated that webcalls were a thing...

"Yeah, yeah that sounds good,"

Scott looked concerned, meaning he hadn't been hiding things nearly as well as he had hoped he was

_"Stiles... are you ok?"_

"Yeah, absolutely, I'm fine, I just didn't sleep well last night, that's all, so everything's kinda just... hitting me hard today,"

Scott's face crinkled up with more concern, and Stiles raked his tongue against his teeth to keep from making a face

_"....Again?"_

Maybe his insomnia hadn't been the best thing to bring up but it was better than the truth

"Yeah... I live in the freaking hellmouth Scott, what do you expect?"

_"Then leave.... Stiles, I told you, you should lea-"_

"I can't, we've had this conversation, please Scott... just let it go?"

Scott looked frustrated, but his eyes glanced down at what Stiles assumed to be the clock and his face fell a little more

_"Stiles-"_

"I know, I know, you have to go, don't worry about it Scotty, I mean it ok? Don't,"

_"... Ok, I'll talk to you tommorrow ok?"_

"Yeah yeah, now just get going already before Kira has to go to bed, seriously this is what you two get for dating in different time zones,"

Scott smiled slightly, nodding and ending the call

Stiles was... relieved, honestly, not because he didn't like talking to Scott- quite the opposite, seriously- but because his anxiety was just... not holding up for a conversation that he was trying to be ok during

He hated having days like this, where he just freaking woke up this way and nothing seemed to help

He had taken both doses of his herbal meds already and had been eating chocolate like crazy to try to calm down the panic but he was still jittery and anxious and nauseated, his head was so full that it felt like it would burst

God he hated this....

He inhaled deeply, shutting his laptop down and pushing back in his desk chair, leaning back and closing his eyes

He was probably anxious, in part, as residual from having to fight the batch of hunters that he and Derek had rounded up and put in Eichen last night, that place still gave him tremors and even though Derek kept insisting that Stiles let him take them to Eichen himself, Stiles just... couldn't do it

He felt like he'd be skimping on his job, for one thing, and for another, he didn't want to leave Derek alone without backup, especially with a bunch of hunters...

One of the hunters had gotten _so_ close to getting Derek....

Too close

He swallowed, licking his lips and jumping out of his desk chair, heading for the door

He needed to distract himself, to get out of the house and just.... away from everything

He had started to find comfort in the outdoors, something he never had before, but things always felt so much more... open, less claustrophobic out there

He had gotten back into going out to the woods since... _it_ happened, he felt more comfortable at peace out there, even with the possibility of hunters and rogue creatures and God only knows what else, it didn't really bother him anymore

He just needed to go for a quick run, get some fresh air, maybe jog through the woods for a minute or two, then he'd come back and talk to Derek for a wile on the phone, make dinner, maybe go to bed early...

"Yeah, I know I'm overdue for my stress test, I've just had alot going on lately,"

Stiles paused half-way towards the door, his heart sinking as he pressed himself up against the wall and waited, listening to his father's phone call

"I know I know... look, how about next week? Noon on Tuesday is fine,"

Stress test?

Oh hell.... Stiles hadn't even realized it was time for that again...

"Yeah, thanks,"

He took in a shaking breath, biting down hard on his tongue and squeezing his eyes shut, digging his fingernails into his palms and letting the breath out

As if his anxiety wasn't bad enough....

"Aww hell...."

He blinked, looking up at his father without even bothering to turn out a look that was vaguely unworried

"Are you having doctor's appointments behind my back? REALLY Dad?"

"Well .... it's just easier to tell you I already got it done and that I'm FINE when you start nagging me about it than to tell you weeks ahead and add to your anxiety,"

"Not for me!"

"Son.... it's EXACTLY for you,"

Stiles pouted, wrinkling his nose with slight frustration

"Dad-"

"Son, I've been doing these tests for years, have I ever shown up with a problem?"

"Well no but-"

"Then don't worry, and I know, I know, that's like telling a vulture not to pick at a carcass, but... seriously, don't worry,"

Stiles pouted again as the sheriff gently patted him on the head and walked towards the coat rack by the door, grabbing his jacket

"I have to get to work, you gonna be ok here by yourself son?"

"I'll be fine Dad," Stiles promised quietly, offering a weak smile as his father headed out of the house, leaving him there alone

He slid down against the wall, his body shaking as he hung his head and tried to keep himself from screaming

His anxiety was bad... really bad.....

This wasn't good

 

~+~

 

Stiles had spent the last half-hour running

Wile he had certainly gotten more athletic over the years than he used to be, he still wasn't exactly a fan of running- or very good at it, and by the time he got to the preserve, all he could do was collapse into a pile of sweat and exhaustion on the grass, panting wildly and letting out a vicious scream

He screamed again...

And again....

And again.....

Until he just couldn't anymore

Until his breath was gone and his throat was aching and he could barely breathe

But he had needed those screams, they were a good way to relieve some stress and even though he was still anxious as hell he atleast felt a little bit better

For a little wile he just laid there, closing his eyes and letting his body rest and his mind race

He needed a break....

He really needed a freaking break....

Hearing a sudden rustling of the bushes nearby, he jerked up, staring anxiously at the woods and inhaling, magic brimming on his fingertips as he waited for whoever- or whatever- was there to appear

"Dude.... you have GOT to announce yourself before you give me a heart attack," he sighed, closing his eyes and flopping down again as Derek made his way into the preserve

"Sorry, I heard you screaming and came running, stress screaming again?" he guessed, moving to sit down carefully beside the other man

"Uh-huh," Stiles sighed quietly, rolling onto his side

"Something more wrong than usual?"

"Scott's not coming for Halloween and my dad has a stress test next week... and I woke up feeling gross in the head," he mumbled back

Derek frowned sympathetically, moving to lay on his side as well and propping his head up on one hand, reaching out with his free hand to gently rub Stiles' arm

"He'll be ok, I just saw him a few days ago and he seemed fine to me, you know I check on him whenever I see him,"

"I know... thanks," he said with a weak smile

Derek just shrugged, moving his hand down to rub his back

"As for Scott, I know you two have your traditions but... I'm sure you'll do something special when he comes back, and I may not be Scott but... you can always do something with me,"

"Oh I INTEND to do something with you, that's not a question, just... it's one of those 'everything is changing' things you know?"

"I know..."

"Sorry, I suck, just leave me here to stew in it,"

"You don't suck, and I can't do that, that would break the IBC rules,"

Stiles glanced up, raising an eyebrow in confusion

"IBC?"

"International Boyfreind Code,"

"Oh my God.... you are the single biggest dork," he said with a snort, reaching out to playfully push Derek in the chest, and he didn't even _move_ \- the muscled jerk

"I was hoping you would think so," he shrugged back, still smirking like he had just won some sort of contest

"Terrible dork, you're horrible,"

"I intend to be,"

The wolf exhaled quietly, laying his head down on his arm and reaching out to gently tug Stiles closer, pressing their foreheads together

"Do you regret staying?"

"God not this again... _no_ I do not regret staying, are you kidding me? If you think my anxiety is high in life or death situations, that's NOTHING compared to academic obligations, I mean, if I was in college, my heart probably would have given out already, I HEAR the word 'exam' from Scott and feel my stomach lurch, you would be cleaning up exploded-Stiles goo off the ceiling for WEEKS,"

"I'm just making sure, can you blame me? Everyone else left and you stayed behind to keep the evil at bay, that... sounds like the short end of the deal to me,"

"Yeah but I get to date the hottest guy to ever exist and watch The Walking Dead on his couch with him whenever I want- wile eating ice cream and pizza- and I get overpaid for not working, so, you know, totally worth not exploring the world and staying in the epitome of hell to crack evil windbags on the head every once in a wile, I was never much of a traveler anyway,"

"First, you DO work, 'cracking evil windbags on the head' is work, and you're not overpaid for risking your life, don't start that again, and second, I just... feel like this shouldn't be your responsibility,"

"Oh it isn't my responsibility, I could leave whenever the hell I want, I just... don't WANT to, I wanna stay where I can keep an eye on my dad and know the police force for when I need to get out of a speeding ticket and can get Dip N' Dots at the new 24-hour Walgreens, all of that sounds pretty good to me,"

He decided not to argue the work point again

He and Derek were something of a two-man show in keeping the town safe from supernatural and hunter related threats, occasionally road-tripping out to take care of other people who needed their help, and it was a mostly full-time job that consumed a heavy portion of their time and put their lives at risk every minute of every day

The problem was, protecting the town from the unknown forces of evil didn't exactly garner a paycheck, and it would be more than a little difficult to do what they did _and_ work full-time jobs, so Derek forced a compensation by paying Stiles himself

Not that Stiles hadn't tried desperately to make him stop the first time, it wasn't Derek's responsibility to pay him, especially for something he barely considered a job in the first place, but after his initial refusal his father woke him up the next morning and asked why there was suddenly a huge deposit in the checking account

War had been waged, Stiles either accepted Derek's checks or Derek convinced Mason to hack into the sheriff's checking account and deposited them there- in _double_ the amount

It was an ultimatum that Stiles was still only begrudingly participating in but atleast it kinda worked out, he got to spend every day protecting people without any messy rules constricting his methods and worked in partnership with his boyfreind- often involving all-nighters and fast food, what wasn't to love?

(Officially, for tax and insurance purposes, Stiles was in real estate, Derek signed him onto a few of his real estate projects- wich Stiles had been more than a little shocked to learn even freaking existed- and he still wasn't EXACTLY sure what Derek was doing to get away with all of this legally but he would sorta rather not know just in case his dad ever asked about it)

"Riiiiiiight, because who needs fine culture and history when you have access to _Dip N' Dots_ around the clock?" Derek said blandly

"Exactly, you've seen me on road trips Derek, do I ever look like the kind of person who can be away from home for more than a few days?"

"Considering you threw up the last time we were late getting back? You do have something of a point..."

"Right, so just... let me be Willow ok? Let me dedicate myself by CHOICE to protecting this crap stain of a town,"

"If you're Willow, does that make me Oz or Tara?"

"It makes you Buffy, the awesome protector of this place who can kick butt in unreasonable clothing, don't question it, just own it,"

Derek just rolled his eyes, shaking his head slowly and leaning over to give him a gentle kiss

"Right, whatever you say,"

Stiles let out a soft hum, gently rolling them over so that Derek was on his back and he was straddling on top of the werewolf

He stayed placed there for a few moments, just staring at his partner, eyes focused on everything and nothing in particular as Derek reached up to gently run his hand over the other's arm

"Your skin is broken out again..."

"Yeah, I know, I'm gonna look like a red kanima sooner or later, all this freaking stress... have I mentioned lately how much I hate eczema? Because if not, that's a crime that needs to be fixed,"

"You have, but you can say it again, you just need to breathe Stiles... come back to the apartment, relax a wile and get your mind off of things, we can make those little papper bats you want to try for Halloween,"

He heaved a sigh, nodding solemnly as his eyes moved down to the grass below them, not wanting Derek to see how freaking anxious he still was

Derek was a lifesaver, he was Stiles' own personal nightlight in a pitch black darkness that never seemed to let up, but all of the laughing and teasing only felt like putting a bandaid over a gaping wound

It helped a little bit, but wasn't anything close to stitching it up

"I hate this... I hate feeling like this...."

"I know... White Stags are sensitive by nature and with everything else.... it's a toxic cocktail," Derek said sympathetically, leaning up to rest a hand on Stiles' shoulder

Freaking "White Stags"...

After about a year of knowing that he wasn't human, that he was... _something_ that he was too afraid to identify, he was forced out of the supernatural closet and, after a little researching, finally got the answer to that long-standing question

White Stags were some weird magic-possessing yin to the Morrigan's yang (or, the other way around, he wasn't quite sure)

Whereas fully matured banshees could become Morrigans and predict and create death, guided by ravens and mostly on the attack, Stags were the complete opposite, mostly centered on life, brimming with highly powerfull magic that could protect lives and even bring people back from the brink of death, guided by deer and mostly on the defensive

Much like Lydia was practically overflowing with psychic power, Stiles was practically overflowing with magic

Whereas she heard voices and was highly sensitive to the dead, Stiles had incredible intuition and was incredibly sensitive to the living- and life it's self, empathy on a nearly super powerfull level, highly prone to sensing negativity and pain...

It was an interesting duality to have but Stiles often found himself wishing he was a banshee instead, because being a Stag?

It freaking SUCKED

As if he hadn't already been an anxiety-ridden mess AGES ago when his powers were mostly under wraps, now that he was a full-blown ~creature~ complete with glowy eyes, his emotional health was completely in the sewers, anxiety always high even on good days and only being able to use herbs to suppress it, wich worked on sort of a 50/50 basis

Mix the severe personal trauma he had been through over the last several years in with that and Derek was right, it was a concoction that would kill most people

Stiles liked having magic, don't get him wrong, it felt good to be able to protect people with more than just a metal bat and whatever he could find laying around, but he wished he could forego the extra helpings of neuroticism atleast

"Stiles?"

He blinked, looking up at Derek again

"Your eyes were glowing... do you sense something?"

"No ... just zoned out," he mumbled, reaching up to rub at his eyes, as if that would erase the soft white irises and turn them back to their usual vibrant brown

Derek sat up, taking his hand and slowly pulling it away from Stiles' face

"I think we've been working too hard lately, three nights in a row without sleep isn't good for either of us,"

"Yeah, well, can't exactly tell the crazies, the baddies, and the uglies to take a vacation because we're getting tired now can we?"

"No, but we can order take out and close the curtains and if we happen to pass out before the sun is even fully set no one would blame us,"

"Oh talk dirty to me," Stiles snorted playfully

"Imagine it Stiles, _food_ , and _sleep_ , in a dark room with the phone unplugged from the wall,"

(Sidenote: Stiles still couldn't believe Derek had a freaking landline instead of a cellphone)

"You nasty boy," the Stag purred, wrapping his arms around Derek's neck and allowing the werewolf to stand, holding him up easily with one arm

Stiles was so used to that, in fact, that he didn't even yelp this time

"Come on, let's go have a wild night, in the morning we'll have pancakes and make crappy papper bats,"

"Yeah," Stiles sighed softly, resting his head against Derek's shoulder and closing his eyes breifly, just to rest, just to linger in the softness of the moment for a little bit longer

"Sounds like a plan to me,"

And for the first time all day, Stiles wasn't jittery, he wasn't twitching, he wasn't having to squeeze his eyes shut or try to think over the flood of anxiety in his brain, he was just.....

Calm

He was just calm


End file.
